A Little Moment

There have been lots of little moments of fear this last week while I have been sick, more than a little, in fact, rather large moments as I face surgery tomorrow. I have many friends praying for me not only just here in Australia but around the world. I am so humbled by that and a little cranky with myself that I cannot shake the fear inside me. As I read the inspirational messages, bible passages and even my own stories that I have written I cannot understand why I still cannot shake the nerves.

As the doctor said, handing over control to someone else is very difficult and these people will be in control while I cannot even see what they are doing. If anything goes wrong there will be nothing that I will be able to do to help myself or to fix the situation. I am completely in their hands.

Now I know that we say that we what to allow God complete control of our lives but here I am suddenly faced with realising just how much that really means. If I was to give complete control to Him in the same way as I am going to put my life into the hands of the doctor tomorrow then I have to know that no matter what the situation is, He is going to fix it and I should keep my hands off the problem. Unlike being “under” on the operating table I can and often do try to fix things when I do not like the state of affairs around me.

“For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” Isaiah 41:13. Oh Lord, please replace this fear with faith in You.